Woman baking bread during the pandemic

Excessive Bread Baking Makes Straight Roommate Think She Might Be a Lesbian

An unprecedented phenomenon of straight women buying of ridiculous amounts of flour to bake ridiculous amounts of bread has been spotted by concerned gay roommates in quarantine around the globe. 

"I just really love baking bread. I made like, 5 loaves this week" Jessica told her co-workers on Zoom. 

In an exclusive interview, Jessica revealed, "I feel like I've gone full on Lesbian or something. I mean, all I do these days is bake bread, go for long walks in nature, and pet my cat."

Straight girls everywhere are now turning inward to ask, have I been the gay best friend all along?

"I might as well just go full on Dyke," Jessica stated as she returned to scrolling through years of Timothée Chalamet's Instagram photos. 

We followed up with Jessica's Lesbian roommate to get her take on the blatant cultural appropriation she witnessed. "I have never really been a fan of baguettes. But I'm always down for a Bagel Bump."

Jessica's boyfriend could not be reached for comment.

Wood You Like to Cuddle Cutting Boards on Sale

Bread Baking Gay Apron on Sale

Back to blog